I WON MY FIRST BEST ACTRESS AWARD

I am not a good actress. Well, not yet at the very least.

It’s funny how the thing I love doing most in the world is also the same thing that I fear doing most. Have you ever loved something so much that you’re actually afraid of it? Well, it’s acting for me.

I have always found it hard to believe that I possess the skill for it. But I continue to do it despite and in spite of. Because deep down, I want to believe that someday I’ll be a good actress. Though I don’t know when or how, I just don’t want to stop trying. Actually, I think I’ll die trying. If that’s what it takes.

So today is a moment I’ll probably remember whether I become a good one or not. I just won my very first Best Actress award. The first of many, I hope.

It’s not really that big of an achievement because I won it from a mini showcase contest. But for a girl like me who has long wanted to be a good actress and who has long believed that she isn’t a good one and who has long doubted if she’ll ever be a good one, it means the world.

So here’s to all the compromises I had to forcefully take. To all the choices I didn’t choose for this. To all the self-doubt.

Here’s to me for the small victory.

Thank you, universe for brief moments of triumph that make all the sacrifices worth it.