My 2021 in Words and Snaps

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“Hello! ❤ I hope this year will be kinder. Not necessarily grander or greater. I’ll go with kinder.” – Me on January 1st, 2021

So how am I after 365 days? Was 2021 kind enough to fulfill my wish? Now that I’m thinking about it, yes and no. However, I guess it’s been kind enough to let me reach its 365th – given the fact that I was soooo not in my element during the first quarter.

But then, despite all the ruptures and the jagged lines that this year surely has come with, I am beyond grateful. Coz though the circumstances haven’t been easy (who am I kidding, they never are, are they? lol), the universe provided me with all the instruments I needed to reach this far. To survive. To keep my lungs afloat from attempting to swim too deep beyond my capacity.

2021 also presented kindness in the form of opening doors for me to cultivate. Though it requires tremendous amount of patience and persistence on my part, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wouldn’t appreciate the value of these opportunities if I could easily have them within reach. Moreover, the experience is teaching me to fall in love with the process, to savor it, to do my best, and then to let go. I can be controlling and it’s really difficult for me to just wait and let things happen. But I guess 2021 won’t bid goodbye without teaching me this very important lesson. Now, I’m still grappling my way through, still trying to find the beauty in waiting and turning it into a delicious activity. I’m getting there, bit by bit.

So yeah, I had to fight tremendous demons but I believe I wasn’t left without kindness. Kindness has been present in ways more than one. Especially in the form of different first times, through emotions I never deem possible for me to feel, poetry – damn a vicious amount of poetry, more than I’ve ever dreamed of writing (to the muse, thank you 😉).

Many thanks, 2021! Hope 2022 will be kinder to me and to everyone I love in the world.

PS

Thank you for making me reach the 7-digit net worth! Cheers to more abundance! 🤘

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20 Things That Got Me Through 2020

What a year 2020 has been! But in one way or another, there are things to be grateful for. Especially the ones that helped me survive this one helluva year.

1. My family’s and my friends’ safety from COVID, mine as well
2. My lola’s recovery
3. An online job I got to keep
4. Continuous acting career
5. Increased investments, and the gains that came with them
6. Chloe (Ting, not Tandez. Kidding.)
7. My handsome inaanaks: Anton and Jordan
8. Freediving experience!
9. Erehwon and the San Pedro Coffee Table Book Project
10. Ayuda from friends and of course, the long-lasting friendships. And also the new friendships I made along the way.
11. IFTR, PSI, and East-West Center
12. Self-paced French lessons
13. Tarot readings (kuddos to my fave tarot readers)
14. NETFLIX! And Spotify.
15. The French, The Dutch, The German, The Italian, and all the other afams lol
16. Emi Wong Plank Workouts
17. Coke Zero and lots of chips and all the desserts I ordered from my friends’ online businesses
18. Chocolates from Maine
19. Starbucks! Especially the 2021 sticker collection hehe
20. Myself. ❤

What are yours?

Thank You, 2015

I can’t think of any other year that surprised me more than 2015 had. Things I never even dared to imagine in the past actually happened. I guess the only thing that turned out as expected was my university graduation. Besides that, there were plenty of happenings beyond my control. I lost two people I’ve never been prepared to lose – one for Thy kingdom come, the other for Thy will be done. I got to experience the real world and I discovered that it’s like trying a new pasta at a nearby cafe which you enjoy during the first bite only to find out that it has an aftertaste. But no matter how much of my sanity this year had taken from me, I’m glad to say that it equipped me with lessons in return:

1. You can mess up. Big time. To the point that even your shadow would want to leave you; to the point that your reflection would not have an idea who’s he’s/she’s representing. But the thing is, you have the chance to redeem yourself. Everyday.
2. Things are only as possible as you believe them to be.
3. People will not always forgive you but it doesn’t have to be the reason why you should not forgive yourself. It’s your decision to make, not theirs.
4. Forgiving yourself doesn’t invalidate the remorse that you felt.
5. You lose people whether you’ve been prepared for it or not. And it will hurt so much, probably even more than you can bear. But that doesn’t mean that you should forget the best times you shared with those people. It’s okay to try to remember those times instead of focusing on the bad ones.
6. Life is too short to stick up with something that doesn’t make you feel alive.
7. People always have the capacity to leave no matter how much you think they won’t. So be in good terms with yourself, because more often than not, all you have left is you.
8. Convenience is an expensive thing.
9. There is something you gain from the things you lose.
10. The universe knows its way.
11. There would be times when you didn’t know you could, but you eventually did.
12. Every time you wake up, you get closer to the day when you’ll be okay.
13. One of the greatest tragedies in life is becoming the exact person that you’ve always hated.
14. Do something. Progress is still progress no matter how small it is. So improve in any way you can.
15. Move forward. There is no point dwelling on your previous mistakes. What’s important is you learned from them. And you’re willing to utilize those lessons in dealing with life.

Thank you, 2015. Though you messed the shit out of me, I know that you only did that to prepare me for the greater things ahead.

In spite of all the so-called predictions, no one knows how 2016 will turn out. There are plenty of mistakes to make, lessons to learn, and goals to achieve. 2016 may be even surprising than 2015. I’m not sure of anything. But instead of worrying too much, I’ll just focus on making this year a way to reach the life I’ve always dreamed of living. After all, I owe that to myself.

So 2016, let’s get it on.